More than One
Text: Matthew 18:15-20
I have a relative who infuriates me sometimes when it comes to matters of faith.
She’s not terribly keen on acknowledging anybody around her in worship. Even when passing the offering plate around or the bread for community, she avoids eye contact when at all possible. God forbid if she actually has to look at the person next to her, much less acknowledge that someone else is in the sanctuary. “The service is about me and God” she says… and anything that gets in the way of that is to be avoided all cost. People coughing, children crying or talking, usually evokes a dirty look. “Me and God” –that’s it. Nobody else matters.
Yet it’s not really her fault. It’s how she was raised… generations of people who have been taught that our faith is exclusively between ourselves and God. It’s entirely personal, and it’s going to stay that way. The individualism that we have been raised and take for granted has only been a dominant part of our society since the 1700s. It’s not to say that personal choice, and individualism doesn’t have its value, and has done tremendous good for society… the development of human rights being one of them.
The down-side, at least for when it comes to our faith, is that it has become so intensely personal that we don’t see ourselves as part of the community… even when we are sitting amongst it. Me and God… that’s it… taken to a logical extreme, that’s all faith is, then why even bother coming to worship when a hike in the woods has the same effect?
This “me and God” approach is at odds with Scripture. In Matthew, we have Jesus saying, “where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I also.” It doesn’t say, where one of you is gathered, there I am… it says where two or three are gathered in my name…
This is much more than numbers. Jesus could have said “three or four” or “ten to twelve” and the effect would still be the same. Two or three are prime numbers, so it gets the point across. The “two or three” that Jesus is talking about is community, it’s more than one. It’s more than “me and God.” It’s a reminder that there is no such thing as a solitary Christian. We cannot be authentically faithful to Jesus Christ all by ourselves… This passage from Matthew is a reminder to us that our relationships with one another are directly tied to our relationship with God, and that God is calling us to live in good and healthy relationships with the people around us.
Every once in a while, we get a glimpse into the faith communities in which the gospels were written. This is less about Jesus and the disciples as it is about the writer of Matthew and the early Christian community that he was a part of. This is the lens through which Matthew’s community saw Jesus, and occasionally the lens gets a speck of dirt on it through which we can learn something about these early Christians.
Where two or three are gathered comes at the end of a series of guides for resolving conflict:
It starts like this:
“15If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one. 16But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses.”
In the same way as placing Moses upon a pedestal, if we portray the early church as an ideal community without faults… we lose some very important insights. They had all kinds of pitfalls, and it seems clear from these words from Matthew, that they needed guidance on how to resolve conflict. Personality differences certainly existed, as they do today. As these early Christian communities developed, something was needed to nip those conflicts in the bud before they would explode into intractable problems.
The health of personal relationships within the community affects the health of the community as a whole. Conflict between individuals has a terrible potential of becoming conflict amongst congregations, as two or more sides attempt to pull people to their point of view rather than deal with the issue. Ultimately, these conflicts left unchecked cause rifts between people, split the church, and undercut the entire purpose of Christian community. Sometimes, as Paul’s own experience with the early church in Corinth, it can get pretty bad… bad enough that it could have killed the church in its cradle. Similarly, Matthew was trying to provide a healthy way of dealing with conflict in the church early on, reminding them of Christ in their midst before things got out of hand. This is about the health of the body of Christ.
The key to this is those first words:
“If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone.”
This is about those personal relationships within the church community. If someone in the church has done something that for whatever reason has hurt you, then here are some steps to try and resolve that hurt. The whole point is the individual personal relationships within a community are vital to the life of the community as a whole. If someone does something that hurts someone else, and that wound is left untreated, then it has the potential to fester and grow like a cancer. The whole body of Christ is at risk.
This really is a sobering thought… and gives us pause to consider all those things that make us a healthy Christian community. The early church wasn’t immune to it, so why are we so surprised when it happens in our own congregations? It is a reminder that we are human, and all human relationships need to be intentionally grown and nurtured.
“If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone.”
This first step, if someone sins against you; go and talk to them directly. If someone does something or says something that hurts us, then the first step is for us to go and talk to them in person. Yet how often do we really do that? More often than not, our tendency is to let it go, let it slide… or worse yet… tell someone else who isn’t involved. Then the rumours get started. The first step is to go directly to the person who hurt you and tell them, otherwise they may never know. As humans, we’re not telepaths; we don’t mind read. We don’t automatically know when something that we have done has caused pain or hurt. We need people to tell us when something has gone off the rails. Sometimes the hurt can be caused by something that was quite innocent, but the damage can potentially be just the same.
What we learn from Matthew is that it’s not just “me and God.” Like it or not we are in a relationship with one another, and we need to take it seriously! Without being honest with one another, we can learn to have that sense of trust that becomes the glue that holds us together. If someone sins against us, if someone does something or says something that hurts us, then we need to tell the truth in order to heal the relationship with them.
United Methodist Bishop William Willimon makes this observation about this story:
“that the goal of all this truth-telling and truth-receiving is to gain a “sister” or “brother” (v. 15). Truth-telling sometimes results in the revelation that our friend was not as good a friend as we first thought. What we thought was friendship was only a relationship that couldn’t survive the truth. But sometimes, and these times are wonderful, in truth-telling we discover that we have a better friend than we first thought. The telling of truth becomes revelation of the very deepest relationship. The easiest thing, in the face of offence, is to say and do nothing, to remain estranged, strangers to lick the wound, to curl all up in yourself, to cherish the hurt, to absorb the injustice, to say in your own life and stay out of mine. But faithfully to do what Jesus commands, to risk the truth, to say, in effect, “ ‘In the name of Jesus the one who is the way, the truth, and the life,’ I care about you enough to confront you, to tell you the truth that no one else cares enough to tell you.”
Jesus is constantly concerned about is healing and reconciliation, being willing to be truthful with one another is a big part of that. “Where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I also…” it is the wholeness of community, that sense that all of us belong, and feel comfortable enough with one another that we can be genuinely honest about how we feel. If it’s all just “me and God” approach, then we lose something profound. God is calling us to be a part of Christ’s community together… to be willing to be vulnerable and honest… to not keep things locked up and private and on our own. Healthy Spirituality a healthy relationship with God is influenced by how well we are able to really be in community. Whenever two or three of us are gathered to tell the truth to one another, to risk relationship on a more truthful level than usual, to seek healing and to offer and receive forgiveness, then Jesus is there with us… and only then do we realize that it’s actually “us and God” together.
Amen
I have a relative who infuriates me sometimes when it comes to matters of faith.
She’s not terribly keen on acknowledging anybody around her in worship. Even when passing the offering plate around or the bread for community, she avoids eye contact when at all possible. God forbid if she actually has to look at the person next to her, much less acknowledge that someone else is in the sanctuary. “The service is about me and God” she says… and anything that gets in the way of that is to be avoided all cost. People coughing, children crying or talking, usually evokes a dirty look. “Me and God” –that’s it. Nobody else matters.
Yet it’s not really her fault. It’s how she was raised… generations of people who have been taught that our faith is exclusively between ourselves and God. It’s entirely personal, and it’s going to stay that way. The individualism that we have been raised and take for granted has only been a dominant part of our society since the 1700s. It’s not to say that personal choice, and individualism doesn’t have its value, and has done tremendous good for society… the development of human rights being one of them.
The down-side, at least for when it comes to our faith, is that it has become so intensely personal that we don’t see ourselves as part of the community… even when we are sitting amongst it. Me and God… that’s it… taken to a logical extreme, that’s all faith is, then why even bother coming to worship when a hike in the woods has the same effect?
This “me and God” approach is at odds with Scripture. In Matthew, we have Jesus saying, “where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I also.” It doesn’t say, where one of you is gathered, there I am… it says where two or three are gathered in my name…
This is much more than numbers. Jesus could have said “three or four” or “ten to twelve” and the effect would still be the same. Two or three are prime numbers, so it gets the point across. The “two or three” that Jesus is talking about is community, it’s more than one. It’s more than “me and God.” It’s a reminder that there is no such thing as a solitary Christian. We cannot be authentically faithful to Jesus Christ all by ourselves… This passage from Matthew is a reminder to us that our relationships with one another are directly tied to our relationship with God, and that God is calling us to live in good and healthy relationships with the people around us.
Every once in a while, we get a glimpse into the faith communities in which the gospels were written. This is less about Jesus and the disciples as it is about the writer of Matthew and the early Christian community that he was a part of. This is the lens through which Matthew’s community saw Jesus, and occasionally the lens gets a speck of dirt on it through which we can learn something about these early Christians.
Where two or three are gathered comes at the end of a series of guides for resolving conflict:
It starts like this:
“15If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one. 16But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses.”
In the same way as placing Moses upon a pedestal, if we portray the early church as an ideal community without faults… we lose some very important insights. They had all kinds of pitfalls, and it seems clear from these words from Matthew, that they needed guidance on how to resolve conflict. Personality differences certainly existed, as they do today. As these early Christian communities developed, something was needed to nip those conflicts in the bud before they would explode into intractable problems.
The health of personal relationships within the community affects the health of the community as a whole. Conflict between individuals has a terrible potential of becoming conflict amongst congregations, as two or more sides attempt to pull people to their point of view rather than deal with the issue. Ultimately, these conflicts left unchecked cause rifts between people, split the church, and undercut the entire purpose of Christian community. Sometimes, as Paul’s own experience with the early church in Corinth, it can get pretty bad… bad enough that it could have killed the church in its cradle. Similarly, Matthew was trying to provide a healthy way of dealing with conflict in the church early on, reminding them of Christ in their midst before things got out of hand. This is about the health of the body of Christ.
The key to this is those first words:
“If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone.”
This is about those personal relationships within the church community. If someone in the church has done something that for whatever reason has hurt you, then here are some steps to try and resolve that hurt. The whole point is the individual personal relationships within a community are vital to the life of the community as a whole. If someone does something that hurts someone else, and that wound is left untreated, then it has the potential to fester and grow like a cancer. The whole body of Christ is at risk.
This really is a sobering thought… and gives us pause to consider all those things that make us a healthy Christian community. The early church wasn’t immune to it, so why are we so surprised when it happens in our own congregations? It is a reminder that we are human, and all human relationships need to be intentionally grown and nurtured.
“If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone.”
This first step, if someone sins against you; go and talk to them directly. If someone does something or says something that hurts us, then the first step is for us to go and talk to them in person. Yet how often do we really do that? More often than not, our tendency is to let it go, let it slide… or worse yet… tell someone else who isn’t involved. Then the rumours get started. The first step is to go directly to the person who hurt you and tell them, otherwise they may never know. As humans, we’re not telepaths; we don’t mind read. We don’t automatically know when something that we have done has caused pain or hurt. We need people to tell us when something has gone off the rails. Sometimes the hurt can be caused by something that was quite innocent, but the damage can potentially be just the same.
What we learn from Matthew is that it’s not just “me and God.” Like it or not we are in a relationship with one another, and we need to take it seriously! Without being honest with one another, we can learn to have that sense of trust that becomes the glue that holds us together. If someone sins against us, if someone does something or says something that hurts us, then we need to tell the truth in order to heal the relationship with them.
United Methodist Bishop William Willimon makes this observation about this story:
“that the goal of all this truth-telling and truth-receiving is to gain a “sister” or “brother” (v. 15). Truth-telling sometimes results in the revelation that our friend was not as good a friend as we first thought. What we thought was friendship was only a relationship that couldn’t survive the truth. But sometimes, and these times are wonderful, in truth-telling we discover that we have a better friend than we first thought. The telling of truth becomes revelation of the very deepest relationship. The easiest thing, in the face of offence, is to say and do nothing, to remain estranged, strangers to lick the wound, to curl all up in yourself, to cherish the hurt, to absorb the injustice, to say in your own life and stay out of mine. But faithfully to do what Jesus commands, to risk the truth, to say, in effect, “ ‘In the name of Jesus the one who is the way, the truth, and the life,’ I care about you enough to confront you, to tell you the truth that no one else cares enough to tell you.”
Jesus is constantly concerned about is healing and reconciliation, being willing to be truthful with one another is a big part of that. “Where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I also…” it is the wholeness of community, that sense that all of us belong, and feel comfortable enough with one another that we can be genuinely honest about how we feel. If it’s all just “me and God” approach, then we lose something profound. God is calling us to be a part of Christ’s community together… to be willing to be vulnerable and honest… to not keep things locked up and private and on our own. Healthy Spirituality a healthy relationship with God is influenced by how well we are able to really be in community. Whenever two or three of us are gathered to tell the truth to one another, to risk relationship on a more truthful level than usual, to seek healing and to offer and receive forgiveness, then Jesus is there with us… and only then do we realize that it’s actually “us and God” together.
Amen
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